Much Ado About Nothing Except Ramps and Kilt Lettuce

That pretty much sums up this weekend. In fact the highlight of the weekend was watching the new episode of The Walking Dead. (For the love people, just turn it over to the kid (Carl) He seems to be the only one who has a lick of sense left.)

And oh yea, my oldest went to a second amendment forum, and stood up and asked questions, good questions, in a room of older people, I love that child! My beautiful little Annie Oakley.

On another hold on to the edge of your seat moment, I went to the grocery store and ran into a little guy I had tutored in school several years ago. Merciful day, talk about an ‘active’ child.

He grew on me.

One morning I walked into the room and it REEKED. Like funky onions or something

It was then I learned about the finer things in life like…

photo courtesy of askmissa.com

Ramps and Kilt Lettuce.

Here is a little Ramp 101 as told to me by my ittle fellow

“Well, Mrs. D. a ramp is a kinda like an onion, but not and it’s kinda like garlic, but not”

“We go hunting for them near our creek but you gotta know what to look for because that ‘hell bored” stuff looks just like it.” (I later found out he was talking about false hellebore)

“You can come to my house tomorrow and I’ll show you how to find it, it’s not hard if you know how. My daddy cooked up a mess of ramps and kilt lettuce last night.”

Yes sweetheart, either that or you bathed in a vat of possum and garlic.

That’s another thing about ramps – they linger

 “Now Ms. D, I’m not gonna lie ya” Sometimes I just play in the creek while my dad gets the kilt lettuce (also known as killed lettuce or branch lettuce)

 

Now I must say this colloquialism has become a staple in my vocabulary. “I’m not gonna lie ya” ~that cracks me up!

And actually he did lie to me.

On a daily basis.

But they were very creative, original lies, that usually involved bears and four wheelers and being chased or chasing, I can’t remember exactly as I lost consciousness when he exhaled.

We came to an agreement that he would not eat ramps first thing in the morning and I would bring him a granola bar to school.

I wanted to share this recipe with you (as opposed to the above useless nonsense)

And …………….I’m not gonna lie you, it’s not my original recipe.

 (courtesy of hyphenbird.pages.com)

KILT LETTUCE

 

Begin by picking and washing your leaves of lettuce-making sure to dry off as much water as possible. Sometimes I wash mine early in the morning and leave it drying on a towel on the counter.

Cook a few slices of bacon and crumble it in a bowl on top of the torn lettuce and cut green onion or RAMPS s (cut onions including the tops). Add salt and pepper. Heat the remaining bacon grease and pour it on the greens then add vinegar or lemon juice to the hot pan and swirl it then pour it on the greens. Toss the bowl contents to mix and eat immediately…with cornbread. The lettuce is so fragile that it doesn’t take much grease to wilt it and the lemon/vinegar is hot so it helps to wilt it as well.

My nephew with an RC Cola and a Moon Pie and dirty little feet from a great day of  jumping in puddles, and catching tadpoles.

 

The joys of living in the Appalachian Mountains

An addendum   HOMEMADE GRANOLA BARS: These are very versatile- throw whatever is on hand in them!

Ingredients

2 cups old-fashioned oatmeal
1 cup sliced almonds
1 cup shredded coconut, loosely packed
1/2 cup toasted wheat germ
3 tablespoons unsalted butter
2/3 cup honey
1/4 cup light brown sugar, lightly packed
1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 cup chopped pitted dates
1/2 cup chopped dried apricots
1/2 cup dried cranberries

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Butter an 8 by 12-inch baking dish and line it with parchment paper.

Toss the oatmeal, almonds, and coconut together on a sheet pan and bake for 10 to 12 minutes, stirring occasionally, until lightly browned. Transfer the mixture to a large mixing bowl and stir in the wheat germ.

Reduce the oven temperature to 300 degrees F.

Place the butter, honey, brown sugar, vanilla, and salt in a small saucepan and bring to a boil over medium heat. Cook and stir for a minute, then pour over the toasted oatmeal mixture. Add the dates, apricots, and cranberries and stir well.

Pour the mixture into the prepared pan. Wet your fingers and lightly press the mixture evenly into the pan. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until light golden brown. Cool for at least 2 to 3 hours before cutting into squares. Serve at room temperature.

You can throw some peanut butter or almond butter in here also!

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